How to Care for Your Parent With Dementia

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Caregiving for parents with dementia can be a challenging adjustment. Whether your loved one is experiencing Alzheimer’s disease, Huntington’s disease, vascular dementia or other brain changes affecting memory, their support needs increase over time. Thankfully, with preparation, professional guidance and compromise, you can help your parent with dementia enjoy a happy, safe life into their golden years.

Make Their Living Space Accessible and Safe

When caring for a parent with dementia at home, you may need to adjust the furniture layout, lighting fixtures and decor to safeguard your loved one against falls, help them navigate their home independently and stay relaxed.

1. Add Night-Lights and Edge Markers

Dementia can affect how the brain processes visual information, making it more challenging to tell shapes apart and move around a space. Install motion-activated lights in hallways and bathrooms for visibility after dark. You can also help your loved one discern countertops, coffee tables, doors and stairs by lining their edges with brightly colored tape.

2. Install Mobility Aids

Coordination, memory and problem-solving challenges are common with dementia, so your parent might struggle to use home equipment as their condition progresses. You can help them by introducing shower chairs, railings, stair lifts and grab bars for stability.

3. Declutter the Home

How to deal with dementia in a parent depends on their unique needs. People with cognitive differences can experience sensory overload when their surroundings are too busy and stimulating. Minimize triggers in their living space that agitate or overwhelm them. Decluttering the home can also open up space for your parent to move around and make the area easier to clean.

Some items may be sentimental, so keep cherished things in storage instead of discarding them. Your parent may forget they’ve given you permission to remove something and become flustered when they can’t find it.

4. Deter Wandering

If your parent is prone to taking unsupervised walks, consider these strategies for their safety:

  • Disguise exit doors: Paint the outward-leading doors and doorknobs the same color as the walls so they’re harder to distinguish.
  • Install hard-to-reach locks: Position locks on doors either lower or higher than normal.
  • Remove wandering triggers: Put away items that may encourage thoughts of leaving, like car keys, outside jackets, hats and purses.
  • Make the home easily navigable: Mark rooms with easy-to-read signs or pictures, and install guiding lights so your parent can find what they need.
  • Set up sensors and alerts: Use motion sensors, security cameras or wearable GPS trackers that notify you when your loved one has left the property.

When enjoying an outing with your parent, accompany them during bathroom trips, choose quieter, more familiar environments, and ensure they are never left alone in the car.

Create a Comfortable Step-By-Step Routine

Coping with a parent with dementia can sometimes feel difficult. Following a daily schedule lets you plan your own life around your parent’s needs while giving them more autonomy. People with cognitive challenges also find comfort in repetition and predictability, so clearly display the routine on an easy-to-read calendar and stick to it diligently.

1. Schedule Regular Bathroom, Meal, Sleep and Medication Times

Dementia can cause forgetfulness about basic self-care tasks. To preserve your parent’s dignity, hygiene and health, establish specific times for personal care. Set labeled smartphone alarms throughout the day to remind you and your loved one what’s next on the agenda. Use a weekly pill organizer so you can easily see if your parent has taken the day’s medications.

Dementia symptoms often worsen in the evening, a phenomenon known as sundowning. To prevent agitation, ensure your loved one gets quality rest. Discourage naps during the day, and limit noise, crowds, screens, alcohol and caffeine in the afternoons. Encourage a relaxing, consistent bedtime ritual.

2. Keep Outfit Options Minimalistic and Easy

Too many clothing options can perplex and intimidate your parent. Together, choose a week’s worth of comfortable, easy-to-wear outfits per season. Pick elasticated, pullover clothing over more fiddly button-up attire. This way, they can dress themselves and enjoy more self-reliance.

Keep Track of Finances and Valuables

Memory lapses, hallucinations, delusions and paranoia may cause your loved one to distrust you or the people around them. They may accuse others of hiding or stealing their belongings. Keep records of all their payments, note where they keep their cherished items or place GPS trackers on high-value objects so you can easily demonstrate that their valuables are safe.

Plan Activities You Can Enjoy Together

Keep your loved one engaged to avoid loneliness and boredom. Take them on relaxing nature walks, watch comfort shows with them, read books to them or get creative with art supplies. For many with dementia, long-term memory is more resilient than short-term memory, so consider reminiscing with your loved one over music, photos and memorabilia. 

Communicate Clearly and Patiently

Learning how to talk to a parent with dementia takes open-mindedness and compromise. Although you may feel frustrated, focus on validating your loved one’s feelings instead of reiterating concrete facts. Remember that what they experience, even if imagined, still feels real to them.

1. Keep Conversations Positive and Easy to Follow

Speak to your loved one with courtesy and reassurance, include them in discussions and avoid showing frustration. Articulate your words, speak unhurriedly, avoid arguing and stick to one topic at a time. Try to get your message across as clearly as possible while still making your parent feel respected as an adult.

2. Ask Yes or No Questions

Open-ended questions can be tough to process for people with later-stage dementia. Instead, give them options to choose between. For example, ask, “Would you like to go for a walk?” rather than the more complex question, “What do you want to do for today’s activity?”.

3. Help Your Loved One Work Through Difficult Emotions

Knowing how to deal with an angry parent with dementia is critical for maintaining a good relationship. They may become agitated if they forget a word, can’t understand you, lose their train of thought, want something they can’t have or feel misunderstood. To help your loved one through emotionally challenging conversations:

  • Redirect or distract them: Change the subject or move their attention to another activity to preoccupy them.
  • Give them time: Patiently wait for them to finish talking and process your words before replying.
  • Rely on nonverbal cues: Your parent can replace forgotten words with descriptions, hand gestures, flash cards or pointing.

Allow Yourself Compassion and Rest

Caregiving for parents with dementia can take a serious toll on your mental and physical well-being, especially if you’re figuring it out as you go along. It’s vital to make time for self-care, check in with yourself emotionally, see friends and family, and take breaks to decompress and recharge. Caregiver burnout is common and valid, and there often comes a time to seek support from compassionate, skilled professionals for your loved one.

Get Help From Peers and Professionals

You are not alone in your situation, and things will get easier. Discussion forums and social media websites are home to many children of parents with dementia, alongside nurses, researchers, doctors and therapists. Use these resources for emotional support, informed advice and reassurance.

If you still want the best quality of life for your parent but find yourself unable to continue caring for them alone, reach out to a trusted retirement community in your area with professional memory care facilities. Your loved one will receive the attention, health care, social interaction, independence and stimulation they need while you get peace of mind, regular visits and quality time with your parent.

Find Respite With Elm Terrace’s Memory Care Community

Elm Terrace is a thriving retirement community located in the historic borough of Lansdale, Pennsylvania. It’s home to a highly reputable retirement living community with an excellent memory care facility. Our comforting atmosphere, engaging activities, delicious meals and wide range of amenities will keep your parent with dementia feeling safe, supported, entertained and respected.

Reach out at 215-361-5600contact us online or schedule a free lunch and tour of our facility to see if Elm Terrace is a good fit for your loved ones.

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